Parenting Peril.... or Pearl

Saturday night Jake was on one. After having an afternoon and all evening with his friends, (sneaking in some girlfriend time he didn't think I knew about), he decided to throw a total tantrum when I asked him to get off the phone with his girlfriend and go to bed. I didn't react sharply with him. I told him to that we should take our conversation into my room and not in front of the kids. We talked for about an hour and a half about girls and proper relationships and all that kind of stuff. We cried a little and prayed a little. Even though he was still very frustrated and upset he managed to fall asleep on my floor and stayed there all night. I woke up at 5 the next morning to get things ready for church. After I got out of the shower I noticed that he had crawled into my bed, (the bed that was empty because Rachel was gone, remember?). I had an "awe schucks isn't he just so precious?" moment. So I let him sleep a little longer.

I continued gathering clothes and ironing and then I started waking kids up. I purposely woke up Jake last, but he didn't move. I came back a few minutes later and jostled him. He pulled the pillow over his head and mumbled, "I'm not going to church today."

"Beg your pardon?"

More directly and defiantly, "I'm NOT going to church today!"

Now, for the most part I'm a pretty even keeled guy. I have a loud voice and I may talk too much or speak out of turn, but I don't really get mad very often...hardly ever but I didn't have it in me to deal with this kind of behavior. I was ticked!

"No, you are wrong. I'm not dealing with this right now I don't have time for this and you better get dressed!"

He laid there motionless. So I grabbed him by the back of his shirt and his belt, picked him up and carried him to his room and tossed him to the ground. I was still ticked so I took my foot and gave him a shove to roll him over. then I stood over him and hollered, "There are two ways to motivate a mule, a carrot and a stick. I tried the carrot last night and now it's the stick. Get dressed right now or I will beat you!"

As I walked out of his room to tend to the other kids I was ashamed of my unrighteous dominion that I exercised against my son, but at the same time I was feeling like I delivered a pearl of wisdom that may become an instant classic and might need to be brought up in my eulogy.

I have since repented for my blow up and sought forgiveness from my son. Kids forgive easy, and I know that we'll both turn out alright one day.

And by the way, he got his church clothes on pretty quickly without any more discussion.

Man Day

Rachel is gone on a girls outing this weekend. I really like having her home and with me but I guess the gal has gotta get out sometime. I decided to take Thursday and Friday off and try to be the world's greatest dad but despite my efforts the kids and I were done the that charade by Thursday evening. Friday seemed to be pretty busy taking care of mom type stuff. I was out of control, the kids and all their commitments were running me! What is that about! Please!

When I woke up Saturday morning I decided to take control and seize this day. I made the kids breakfast and during breakfast I laid out the ground rules. The rules are simple: You do all the work that I have assigned you then you can do what you want. I left the two olders in charge with very stern counsel to have significant progress by the I returned home from Simon's game. Simon and I left. Simon lost his game, he played well so I took him to get a treat. When I returned I we pleased to see 'significant progress'. I sent Simon out to do his work. Then I proceeded to do the one task I would never get a chance to do under the Rachel Rules to a happy marriage. The one thing that I've wanted to do for some time, this would fulfill the only New Years resolution I made back in January, I set out to make Pastrami.

So for the second time ever I fired up the smoker, took my brined brisket rubbed all the right seasonings on it and let the miracle happen. As I reflect, the balance of my day was spent doing very manly things. I had a couple of football games on, I tinkered around the house doing simple chores like sweeping the back patio, fixing screen doors, oiling hinges...all just menial tasks that kept me close to the smoker and my games. Sure, I was still dad; I made the kids lunch, put band aids on their cuts, and ran them to their friends houses. But really it was kind of a guilty pleasure day for me.

Well, all the games are over. The pastrami is in the fridge cooling til morning. This wacky and surreal day is almost over. Admittedly, doing all the things I want to do is not as cool as I thought it would be. We just made a final sweep through the house to make sure it's not just clean but 'Mom clean' as we want everything to be just right for her return tomorrow. We sure miss her, I sure miss her.

My wife and kids are awesome. Saturday afternoon the ward music coordinator called in a bind needing a musical number for sacrament meeting. My idea was just to have Chip play a piece on the piano. This was the easiest and painless was to go. There would have been nothing wrong with except Rachel had another idea. Rachel lives so in tune with the spirit and so in touch with our kids that she knew what they could do and what would be good for them.

I will have to admit I was only overhearing the rehearsal from the other room where I was watching USC v. Notre Dame. Jakinstien was being a monotoned insubordinate pain, Chip would go back and forth between his assigned "If you could his to Kolob" and "My Name is Jonas" on the guitar, and Hannah was mostly sitting with the 'I'm dealing with ammatures' look on her face. I would opine from my seat in the other room how good it would be if Mom and Hannah would sing a duet, and after being rejected I could justifiably continue with my game because they didn't want my help anyway!

As the day went on the sounds from the front room became more harmonious. That evening we took the them down to the ward house so they could try it with the microphone from the pulpit. There was still some apprehension, but they sure had come far in a short time.

In the morning Jacob was beyond nervous. It is common for him to worry about things, but he had a double dose of nerves and anxiety. I told him to say a quick prayer, and he told me he already had, mom told him to already...of course she had.

Chip and Hannah deal with things more internally, so for an insensitive dad it is harder to tell what they are feeling but as the stood up from the pew to go up to the rostrum, they were showing signs of nerves. Then I got nervous. Nervous for what? They are where they are supposed to be doing what the need to be doing. They will not be judged on their performance, only their willingness and heart. Maybe I thought Chip might play another weezer song, I don't know.

They sounded beautiful. I will admit I was a little surprised, but I shouldn't have been. Rachel was not surprised, she takes her job as mother very seriously she knows that hard things bring great rewards. And she knows just how much she can ask of our children so they have opportunity to work and accomplish things that they didn't know they could. I'm so blessed.